Wednesday, October 27, 2004

dilemma drama queen

My friend and I were discussing the dilemma dramas women go through in every relationship, and I ended up with more questions than answers. Just what is it about relationships that make people paranoid?

Don't get me wrong. I love my relationship right now. It's fun and exciting and yes, no big problems to deal with. (I can go on and on about how happy i am right now, but i guess you guys will end up throwing up). So perfect --- that it's scaring me shitless sometimes. While most people crave for a "perfect" realtionship, i am wary of it --- it sounds too much like a waiting period for the "big one", or as they say in some circles "sudden death".

Sex and The City's Carrie had cold feet when she entered the "perfect" relationship with Aidan --- everything was smooth sailing, no bumps whatsoever. Was it a desire for some drama in her life? or merely the case of paranoia over the whole "too good to be true" bit ? I fear sudden death of this relationship. I am deathly afraid that everything is perfect then one day it will just be gone, like a dream i will try to forget. Call me paranoid, but as much as i enjoy what i have, i am also afraid of it.

I cannot fathom a world without disappointments, worries or mere quirks that irks you up. It's this lack of "reality" that makes everything a little too surreal, a little too unbelievable. I'd like to think of it as "practice", so in case any more "reality issues" come up, you'd know what to say or do. Maybe this phase will come in later in the relationship. I always feel that drama makes you appreciate whatever reality you have because after some time it becomes a basis for comparison, a measure of sorts on what you want or don't want in your life.Call it a measure of discernment if you wish. Perhaps the drama in life adds to the reality that sets in.

This however, does not deter me from loving every minute of my time with my significant other. On the contrary. With the risk and the fear comes an exhilaration that brings a smile to my face and a warm glow (no kidding). I get the vibe and the love that yes, this is what i can expect, good or bad. If i come out unscathed or still in love, then good. So call me a drama queen if you wish.


1 comment:

hlF said...

sometimes, we have to learn how to be totally happy and stress free. (^__^) takes time but you'll get around to it.

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